But, here’s the thing, if I can’t tell my male friends or men with whom I no longer work that their behavior was out of line, who can? And they need to hear it. I’ve learned in talking to more than a few guy recently that some of them really are unaware of their effect on women. And whether it’s for shame or fear or to avoid trouble, some of us haven’t been telling them. This is not to excuse the serial predators and rapists we’ve been reading about. But there are ordinary men who have been rattled by the barrage—they’re just waking up to how little they knew about how women move through the world.