They are, unapologetically, a tough bunch: survivors raised up in a world of literal fire and 16-hour shifts on their feet. They accept, almost without comment, bare-knuckled realities like 60 pounds of bones that have to be dragged up cellar stairs to the kitchen. Or room-size freezers that must be scrubbed by hand.
But the veteran women of the world of fine dining restaurants have stuck it out in spite of more than that. For, while generous mentors and stubborn determination have moved them to the top and helped them stay there, these women also fought the daily undertow of sexual harassment and gender bias that permeates the restaurant industry. Like the job interview that centered on how a chef would handle a kitchen full of men. Or the creepy back rub, the jokes about rape, the dishwasher who rubbed his body against a young chef on every trip to the walk-in cooler.
“What has been challenging,” says Beverly Kim, chef/co-owner at Parachute restaurant in Avondale, “is the acceptance of ‘This is how it is, this is how restaurants are, and you’ve got to deal with it or you’re out.’ ”
In recent months, the restaurant world has found itself at the center of ongoing sexual harassment scandals, and many in the food world have struggled through a crisis of conscience. How did sexual harassment come to be an accepted part of restaurant culture? And who had enabled it to continue?
A recent look at 10 years of Equal Employment Opportunity Commission data by a Washington, D.C. think tank confirmed other studies which show that women in food service and retail jobs file more than three times as many sexual harassment claims as women in industries such as finance or insurance. In an industry survey conducted by Restaurant Opportunities Centers United, an organization that advocates for the end of the tipped minimum wage system, 60 percent of women working in restaurants reported they had been sexually harassed at work. Add that number to a picture that includes extremely long work days, a high ratio of young employees, a male-dominated power structure and customers who may be drinking and must be catered to, and reports of sexual harassment at even the most celebrated restaurants seem less than surprising.
“It’s a breeding ground for bad behavior,” says Jennifer Wisniewski, a restaurant publicist who spent years in a front-of-house capacity as co-owner of Chicago restaurant Bread & Wine.
Allegations of harassment and worse continue to unspool in the restaurant world, spotlighting the behavior of national figures such as Mario Batali and New Orleans’ John Besh, as well as reported incidents at Chicago’s Publican Group and Alinea Group restaurants. Against that backdrop, Tribune reporters have been interviewing top-ranking women across Chicago’s restaurant world. What we found was a group of women aware of the unique opportunity their success affords them: the ability to speak out without the risks faced by women on lower rungs of the restaurant ladder. And they were ready — some for the first time — to share powerfully emotional experiences (“My mother told me, don’t take it,” says Mi Tocaya Antojeria’s Diana Davila of one particularly difficult moment. “I came out of there guns blazing.”) They had advice and even regrets (“Could I have done more?” asks sommelier Belinda Chang) and a view of what the future might hold.
“I don’t know where we’re going,” says Dana Cree, executive pastry chef of The Publican restaurants, “but I think it changes everything. I think it changes things for all the girls who are standing in the kitchen and don’t know where their voice is.”
The women
Belinda Chang, James Beard Award-winning sommelier and consultant
Dana Cree, executive pastry chef, The Publican brand
Diana Davila, chef/owner, Mi Tocaya Antojeria
Sarah Grueneberg, chef/partner, Monteverde
Jan Henrichsen, general manager and beverage director, Heritage Restaurant & Caviar Bar
Beverly Kim, chef/owner, Parachute
Amber Lancaster, executive chef, Sable
Carrie Nahabedian, chef/owner, Naha and Brindille
Mindy Segal, chef/owner, HotChocolate
Alpana Singh, owner of Boarding House and Terra & Vine restaurants
Sarah Stegner, chef/owner, Prairie Grass Cafe
Jennifer Wisniewski, partner, VIIVX Group, former co-owner, Bread & Wine
When sexual harassment is everywhere, it’s nowhere
The climate of sexual harassment and gender discrimination, the women told us, can be so pervasive it feels like the wallpaper: You hardly notice until something calls it to your attention. For women who have been successful in the restaurant business, it has been somewhat startling to see their world in light of gender bias and systemic harassment.
Cree: We were sitting around talking and this guy said, ‘Don’t be such a woman about it.’ And (a colleague) just said, ‘Hey, don’t say that, that’s not OK.’ And he started arguing about it with her: ‘You need to get thicker skin if you’re going to work in a restaurant.’ And she said, ‘No, that’s not OK, and I will be working in this restaurant.’ So that just sort of broke it all open for me.
I had spent so long in the kitchen thinking there are no men or women here, just chefs. I was so set on not being devalued that I essentially ended up devaluing my own gender for 10 years, laughing along with the joke. I’ve never felt held back, so I think part of me thought, maybe that’s over, the change is coming. But my class in culinary school was all girls and one boy. Where did all those girls go? You look around at who’s still standing next to you in the kitchen and you might be the only woman. Laughing respect for our gender away at guys saying, ‘Don’t be such a woman about it.’
Segal: It’s an interesting, poignant discussion at this point, because I have always been a nonadvocate. I was against even talking about this issue or putting it in those terms of a woman chef versus a man chef. However I will tell you that recently I have experienced not harassment but sort of that boys club mentality. I had this aha moment where I was like this is what it’s like. Excluding women that are in a room — there’s so much testosterone in the room that they can’t even see that there is another person in the room. Women aren’t like that, and I see the difference now. I see the difference that I have in my kitchen. I honestly feel that if it was run by a man and if a man was the chef, things would be different there.
Henrichsen: The current climate is a symptom of the larger culture. It has nothing to do with people touching their penises, but abuse of power. In restaurants … it’s very easy for someone to step over the line and use their power in a way that is inappropriate.
Lancaster: When I was younger I would hold myself back from saying something about what I knew was wrong. It’s a little disconcerting, the things that go on still in kitchens. You read something about what happened in a kitchen and you think, really? This is still happening? And it’s almost like as a woman you almost always get perceived as being a bitch. Because when you do draw that line and say no that’s not happening don’t do that, you’re a bitch.
If it wasn’t rape, was it a problem?
Every woman we talked with had stories to tell about gender-related issues — but many set aside their own experiences, noting that others had suffered far worse, and that they had managed to be successful in spite of the climate, partly through mentoring from both male and female colleagues. Yet they also expressed a growing discomfort with inequalities in the industry, and its code of silence.
Wisniewski: Once I walked in and heard a chef that was working for us say, ‘If this doesn’t work out for me, it’s not like I’m going to rape them, but I might kill them.’ Does a man face that if he’s the owner of a restaurant? I don’t think so. Sometimes being a woman doesn’t bring out the best in people, it brings out the worst.
Kim: A lot of the chefs you looked up to, who were really talented, they also had dirty mouths. Making jokes about women and body parts, I felt like it was a different world than I grew up in, and I had to get a thick skin. I knew there was this discomfort that many women felt, but you had to hide those issues, you couldn’t show that it bothered you.
Singh: There’s a moving target of what’s normal. I remember when I was 15 working in a diner and the men would catcall and whistle at me. Today, they’d be fired immediately, but back then, it was normal until someone said stop. You feel like you have nowhere to go, that you have to bottle and lock it up for years. (Reporting sexual harassment) is not revenge, these people just want to be heard.
Davila: When I worked in D.C., the first question out of people’s mouths (when I was interviewing) was how would I deal with a kitchen full of men? Their questions revolved around that. They’d take one look at me and never let me through. If you’re being refused to be looked at, how do you get the job? In those D.C. kitchens, I’d be talked to in very sexual terms, have my ass slapped. That was the first and only time I’ve cried in the kitchen.
Lancaster: I’ve had front-of-house managers say to me, ‘Oh, we can’t hire her. She’s not the right fit,’ and I’d say she’s a great candidate. To me, she’s got every qualification, she’s perfect. But it’s because they don’t think she’s attractive enough.
Chang: I always had to talk women out of dressing in a low-cut dress. Prove your worth by your revenue-generating potential, which is what men are judged by. Women are not measured by the same standards — there’s a tendency to hire the beautiful girl at the host stand, the beautiful sommelier who can sell more to the table of guys. They’re looking at the asset of beauty, not her ability to sell, and that’s where some bad behavior can start, because there’s this thinking of “I want to fill my dining room with hot girls on my service team.” If the guys then start harassing her, then that’s almost by design. Like, build it and they’ll come.
For me … I tried to teach them how to be important for a different reason, but of course, I feel guilty too. Could I have done more? You should get to have both, a career you pursue in the way you want to, but also (a chance to) express yourself in a way that makes you comfortable.
The ‘good guy’ isn’t a fallacy
Overwhelmingly, the women we spoke with emphasized the importance of male mentors in their careers, and thought that many men in the industry just needed a wake-up call to change their behavior.
Cree: A lot of the people who are behaving poorly are good people, they’re your friends. You can help elevate one woman’s career and then also mistreat another woman at the same time. It’s hard when you really like somebody but you don’t like the way they behave. For all the right people, being made aware of their character flaws and the way they are functioning in a team in a not-healthy way is what they need. They will take that information and change that behavior. But if we don’t share what we see, we can’t change it.
Kim: The first layer is for men to also be on board admitting yes, this is a problem. We can all change, and now is the time, we can’t accept this. It sucks that it has to come to this huge crisis, but it’s good that we’re talking about it.
Singh: I can’t say things haven’t happened to me, but I’ve also gotten really lucky with the bosses and mentors I’ve had. A good chunk of what I demand for myself is a direct result of leadership and mentorship from chef (Jean) Joho. He helped me have a backbone. He would send me out on the floor, telling me, “I think it’s important for people to see women in charge.”
Wisniewski: When all of this came to a head, it’s not like I said to myself, “Men are bad.” It’s more like I took a hard look in the mirror at what I turned the other way on or diminished and if I did that, then what was my part in all of this? I have to take a look at that.
Change starts at the top
Though they had differing points of view on harassment, the women told us they thought that the values of the leadership team were the key factor in restaurant culture. Their No. 1 recommendation for achieving change? Tackling difficult conversations head-on.
Nahabedian: You have to have the integrity, you have to provide a workplace that people want to work in and entertain in. I don’t think (sexual harassment) is part of kitchen culture — I worked with chefs that were bullying, forceful — they came up in that European culture. Tensions brew when you work in an environment like that. But ultimately, you want happy cooks cooking your food.
Henrichsen: There are a lot of places that outline harassment in a handbook, and oh, by the way, it’s clear that their lawyers and federal law had to write it in. When rubber meets the road, there are a million ways enforcing the policy can go wrong, but having that conversation with people is the first step. We won’t always get it right, but hopefully, we won’t fail. We need to hear someone who is being offended and hurt by making the restaurant a place for dialogue.
Cree: This millennial culture that’s coming up, they’re not putting up with it.
And they know exactly what to say. They grew up with social media and they have very public voices and they’re not afraid to use them. And I hope they use those voices for good. We’re not going to see the same protection for chefs and industry leaders.
Davila: My advice for young women: Lead with your instinct. Women who are in these positions need to say something about this. Change your speech, avoid sexist language, tell other women to say it’s not OK. Pay attention.
The optimism is real
Will the world of restaurants overcome its long, tortured history with gender issues? It’s easy to be skeptical. But the women we talked with made it clear that their belief in a cleaned-up restaurant industry is strong.
Singh: What’s happening is a huge cultural shift. Now it’s like, we can say, ‘That’s not allowed’ and we feel empowered. It’s about us as women being prepared to push back. Here’s what I want out of this whole thing: This isn’t about someone winning or losing, but ultimately if this gives women equal footing. … (Now) we’re less likely to get funding, we’re less likely to get write-ups, we’re less likely to win awards — who is the woman Rich Melman or Danny Meyer? We have to change the culture so that women can be in power to make these decisions, so we’re not treated as sex symbols. There’s a much bigger cultural shift.
Grueneberg: I was taught that being a woman was a weakness. That’s part of my success. I use my faults and strengths to rewrite the book of running a restaurant and being a chef. Right now what’s happening … I hope it continues shifting and that we can combat this.
Wisniewski: I do see it as a civil rights movement. It will make a change. I just see so many things changing. How can it not? Women are changing. We’re seeing it differently. It’s a process, but now the good news is there’s no going back in time, nobody can say it isn’t an issue.
Kim: Women are very powerful right now, and have the opportunity to really change the face of how things are run in the kitchen and change the culture. But we first need to acknowledge the past, that was unacceptable, and everyone needs to change now, to let women have an equal chance to make it. (Sexual harassment) is limiting their hopes and dreams and aspirations. Hopefully in my lifetime I will see something, maybe my grandchildren will see it.
Chang: Restaurants, like all businesses, are judged on a lot of factors, like did we make money or did we win awards. But that chase also promotes a mercenary attitude. I think the real win is: Did you make it to 25 years? Did your staff stay with you for that journey? How many people are nominated for James Beard Awards every year, and they’re gone because they drove away their staff or drove themselves so hard? You’ve got to do this for the soul, not just for your face on a magazine cover. We have to change the metric.
Cree: I think we will never see equality at the top until we clean up the culture at the bottom, until the cooks that enter our culture enter clean, safe spaces. I hope for a shift in the culture, very, very badly. Because when I look at who’s still left at the top, I just have to wonder who else would be there if they weren’t the butt of the joke.
cdampier@chicagotribune.com
jbhernandez@chicagotribune.com
