If I asked you right now, what “feminism” meant to you, would you say, “someone who believes in the equality of men and women.”? If you answer “yes”, then I suggest you do not read this further. But if you answered “maybe” or “no”, then, I believe you are “a person who wants to raise children who are confident, kind and free to pursue their dreams.”
In this current political and social climate, I strive to educate my child through my own actions and words. Women’s rights, feminism and equality go hand in hand. I will not tell my daughter not to play with construction trucks or trains, and I will not tell my son not to play with dolls or not to have a tea party. Have you visited a toy store in the recent days and seen the difference in the toys from the colors of the toys to the type of toys in the aisles and how it is targeted with gender in mind? As a society, we are systematically discouraging our children from becoming what and who they want to be. That is not equality.
So, how do you have a conversation with your children and how do you teach them? How can parents set the stage and establish a healthy foundation for an open mind?
You Can Start Early
A child around two-and-a-half, starts to become aware of their gender, where children consistently identify a person’s sex. Between the ages of three and five, this consciousness transforms into an opinion, based on society and culture around them.
Children begin to learn about gender at this young age and that will shape their worldviews in later life. Parents are increasingly encouraging girls to play with toys to “become whoever/whatever they want to become” but that is restricted with boys. This indirectly sends a message to children that traditional masculine roles like strength and aggressiveness are superior and that nurturing are female behaviours and must be avoided. Parents have to teach empathy to children by talking to them about feelings of other children and help them understand how their actions affects others.
Talk To Our Children
If you are watching an advertisement together that objectifies a woman or a man, use that moment to let them talk about their perspective. Approach children to talk about the issue in the moment and not discuss equality in general
Online and offline culture is the same these days for young people. Being a feminist, also means being able to listen and understand the perspective of another person as well.
Parents should talk to children about why men and women are objectified in certain ways on media and why certain roles are stereotypical.
Keeping It Within The Family
I grew up in a family where members of the family had the traditional roles where cleaning, cooking and taking care of children were primarily a woman’s roles and working and earning were a man’s job. My current family- my spouse and I are now raising our child, completely opposite to that. We show our child everyday, through our own actions, that we embrace our roles, irrespective of gender. We teach our child that there are no men’s jobs and no women’s jobs, there are just dirty dishes, dirty diapers and work to be done. We share our chores equally.
Actions speak louder than words and parents can teach their children by not defining house chores as gender specific. These will be lessons learned by the child, our future generation.
Read About Boys And Girls
Read to your kids on a wide variety of people and stories that break that stereotypical image about boys saving the world or that the girl needs a hero to be save her. Talk about why women are always shown wearing aprons and baking or why the men are always portrayed as carrying briefcases to work.
If we don’t help the children now, they will grow up with these notions that will solidify later in life.
Raise Your Children, You Do Not Need A Village
It is also important that you steer clear of extended family that may have traditional views or ask them to refrain from expressing their own opinions in front of the younger children.The child has to first understand how to respect and treat everyone equally. You can always discuss the difference in opinions with an older child.
We cannot protect our children from everything. The media, teachers, friends and neighbors are also a part of what our child will learn.
We have to start teaching our children, whether girl or boy, man or woman, to respect all people equally. We have to start teaching them about being human.
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